It's never been easy to revise for exams, especially when things take a turn for the worse. Before long you find yourself blaming yourself for everything that could have been done to stop it from happening. You find the holes, you tug at them, the more you tug, the wider and bigger they become. Suddenly, all you're left with is an empty space and a broken heart. Your mind becomes so consumed with blame, loss of face/honour, loss of respect for yourself, that you no longer feel that motivation that once pushed you to where you are right now. It becomes a long and desolate road. You start to think, what's the point anymore?
Everyday since then I wake up, look to your picture and think, I've failed you and myself, and there is nothing that can be done about it. For that day I let the failure rob away my happiness and hope.
It's the hardest thing to tell yourself that "everything is going to be okay, and even though it'll be harder to get to where you want to be, you'll get there." I've told myself countless times, just work harder for these exams, blow them out the water, show them who's boss, and let your future employers know, you never let it get to you. I tell myself that every day. But truth is, it doesn't always work.
Until I realised something.
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible"
I came across this quote at the start of the course, and since then it's always stuck in my mind. I made a decision to go along this path, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for, all I knew was, I want this, and you know, it is fun to do the impossible.
Nothing is certain. All I know is, I'm never alone. So, here we go again.
Gambatte.
No comments
Post a Comment